Monday, March 1, 2010

You never know

At the beginning of the year my brother came to visit. I told him that he needed to visit our mom as well. They had a strained relationship but I was not telling him or asking him to apologize or ask for forgiveness. I simply suggested that he visit her since he had not seen her in over a year and he was headed back to Antarctica until October. I told him "you never know". He did not stop by. And I know she was disappointed.

On February 13th my mother was admitted to the hospital. She had a massive heart attack, she was septic, her liver and her kidneys were shitting down. My brother was called and he had an opportunity to return home. He was worried however that he would hurt his reputation and not have a good job reference from his current employer. By leaving he would loose his job. He chose to stay in Antarctica and hope for the best.

On February 21st, my mother passed away.

You never know what tomorrow holds. that sentiment has never been more true for me. I am sad for my brother. I was able to tell my mom I love her and I would see her again.

My mother may not have been the perfect mother but none of use were prefect children. She loved us and cared for us as best as she could. It took me many years to realize that. I never had to forgive her. I only had to forgive myself for being so blind.

I hope my brother will be able to deal with the choice he made. I can't say I judge him for his choice. I only write this as a reminder to others that you never know what tomorrow holds.

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