Stone cold momma

I did not cry when I dropped my daughter off at preschool in 2008 . And today, as I dropped my son off, I did not cry. I thought about it. Not actually about doing it, but that maybe I should cry. Isn't that a loving mom should do?

I just don't feel sad or anxious for them. They were both well prepared to attend class and be away from me for two hours two days a week.

I was a bit sad last fall when my daughter started kindergarten. It was a huge step despite 2 years of preschool. She was no longer my little girl. She was now my school-age daughter. Sure, she was little, but she would no longer be as innocent as she had been. She would begin to grow-up quickly now.

A few months ago I worried how he would do on this new adventure. He was... well... I'd say socially awkward. He did not have a wide social circle. We did not do play dates, his baby sitter is his grandmother in her home, and when ever we did attend community play dates he would get frustrated easily. 2 weeks ago he had his orientation picnic. And holy cow, this child had a bubbly and social personality.

Two hours after dropping my son off today, I picked him up. His wonderful teacher told me that he had a great day. He was all smiles and chatty on our short drive home.

No tears from either of us.

Kindergarten is two short years away... who knows how I will do then. He is, after all, my last child.

Time to squeeze as much time in with him now.

Too much time on my hands

I made this under the supervision of N8. Pretty darn cool huh? I posted previously that I found it at the Funky Lunch blog. Its certainly one of the more challenging of their creations. But well worth the 10 minutes.

I even ordered the book and it came today. *smile* N8 and I are both very excited about the creations to come. I think a spiral bound book would be better, but its just a personal thing.

I wish the company was not across the pond (aka the Atlantic Ocean) so that our school could take advantage of the kits offered. But I have been in touch with the author and he is considering our little school as a potential North American test site (or something along those lines).

What special things do you do at meals? What memories have you made with your kids this week?

Money does not make you classy

Its no secret that I grew up in a very impoverished home. My mother did not not allow us to act poor however. I had manners. I dressed neatly. I crossed my legs at the ankle. I was even taught dinning etiquette.

As a young girl, those small things made me feel a little less poor. It was as if I was a refugee in my own life. Like I was a princess who had to flee her country when the bad guys took over and I had to keep hiding my identity.

In my 20's, post college, I was able to socialize with the crowd that had been brought up in a privileged home because I had those skills.

My children are growing up in a middle-class home. I will not raise children who lack class just because of the social class they were born into. My daughter will cross her legs at the ankle, my son will open doors for women, and they will know which fork is a salad fork and to bring a gift to the hostess.

I make fancy sandwiches.

I posted a link on Facebook yesterday to Funky Lunch where they provide instructions on how to make a Tow Mater sandwich. I have a 3 year old son who prefers Mater to McQueen. So, I knew this sandwich would be a huge hit. And I love to brag share my findings on face book.

A friend commented that I have too much time on my hands to be making such things. There was an initial twinge of guilt. Yeah, maybe I should do more laundry. She is right. I then took a step back. No. I don;t have to feel guilty about making fancy lunches for my kids. I am a stay at home mom. Its my job to make these memories. Its why I am at home with them. She make the choice to work and I made the choice to take this path. She edits copy, over sees the publication of special topic inserts for our local paper, and dresses like a woman. I make fancy sandwiches, I melt crayons on rocks, I cut paper and glue it to abandoned shoe boxes and wear t shirts and yoga pants most days. This is my job.

I love my job. So why do I feel guilty?

And so it begins...

Monday. I begin my 5k training today. I found a great podcast on iTunes (by 5k101) that I hope and pray will help me. I also plan to get some new running shoes at some point in the next 2 weeks. Gonna try the Vibram Five Fingers since my runner/cyclist brother swears by them.

What will running be fore me? I hope that it will give me time to let my mind wander, let my stress out, and get back a bit more of my pre-wife body.

UPDATE: Yeah... running did not start as soon as I had planned it to. I hurt my foot. No idea how. Maybe it was psychosomatic. But I started my training last night. Up the hill I went. And down the hill I came. It was a good time. I think I'll do it again tomorrow. OH! I did not buy the Vibrams. I bought (or rather my MIL did) some Ryka running shoes. Super light and felt great.

Would you want to be my friend?

If you know me at all you know I love my kids pediatrician. Love love love her. If they made a t shirt with her face on it, I would wear it. Maybe not out in public since that would be creepy... but you get the point.

Not everyone likes her. She can be rather frank. She does not dole out antibiotics like candy. She does not coddle parents (at least she never has us). But she is great with my kids. She is their Dr after all. And they need to love her.

I have often thought "I'd like to be friends with her". She just seems like the kind of person I would really get along with. But I would much rather have her as my kids pediatrician than my friend. I think there needs to be boundaries.

Until recently that is. Thanks to our mutual interest in a fledgling Children's Museum we have had a number of non-child - non- medical conversations. She even asked me about my church.

*gasp*

This has made me nervous. Is there a chance we will become friends? What about the kids? Should they see a different doctor? Do I need to keep a wall up? Can I have the best of both worlds? Can she and I chat over coffee one Sunday before church and on Tuesday rush my son to her office for a mysteriously swollen boy part?

I am sure she can separate the worlds. I think I can too.

Every project worth doing comes with constraints. Our natural inclination is to fight them.

I run into this. all. day. long. Pick up this. Throw that out. read your book. Color your picture. Its just how it is. I am trying to teach my little dearies about life. I am not the neatest mom. Our house is tiddy, however. But the kid zones are generally trashed. I don't expect perfection but I do expect perfection.

My kids make me laugh!

not so techy kids

My son and daughter have hand held game players. Nothing fancy like a 3D DS. they have a Leapster and a vSmile. They like them. But I do not encourage them to play with them often. I feel like it takes away from their interactive learning and general skill development.

I found this neat little craft. Frustration Free Dry Erase Mazes. Unlike the author, I will probably not make my own maze. I am sure in the world wide web there is a maze I can take.

There will be one in my purse and two in Vanna Montana (K's nick name for the mommy van).

Schedule me

I am lucky. Both of my kids have done well with schedules since birth. Once we were able to develop one anyhow.

Its summer and they are 6y and 3y. This is the first post-school summer for K (6). I knew they only way we would survive to to have a summer schedule. N (3) and I had our own schedule during the school year. But that was not going to work with K home for the next 10 weeks.

So, here is how we are surviving.

Wake up *8am ish

Kids pickup rooms and make beds (I do not require perfection here. But I do expect effort)

Breakfast

A)Playtime (outside of the weather is decent and inside in the playroom if not)

B) K may have an activity so then its just N and I (I = me, not some other kid) .

Lunch

Here is where it gets choppy

Learning time (each kid has a work book plus we do other learning things like baking)

Snack time

Arts and crafts time (painting, coloring, and general mess making that results in art)

Alone time (usually 30-40 minutes of alone time for everyone to have some quiet time).

Family play time (puzzels, outdoor time, swimming, and so on)

pre Bed time (baths and reading)

bed time

You see there is no TV. I am not ever going to pretend that we do not watch TV in this house. We do. Just not a lot. The TV is usually on at breakfast. And if the weather is bad and we don't have shopping planned I do put on the tv (or music) while they play in the play room.

I have found this works for now.

Oh! and one more thing. My kids argue over whose turn it is. So since one was born on an odd day and the other on an even day, I have instituted the rule that even days are for N and odd days are for K. and the 29th of Feb and 31st of other months are my days. Mom has veto power at all times. Like K teling me that since it was her day we were having french toast for breakfast last week. Uhhh... no!!!!! That was an automatic Mom veto!

So, there ya have it. How we are surviving this summer of 2011.

Teacher Appreciation Day

What to give.... what to give.... if anything.

I knew full well that we would be in the minority if we gave a gift. But K really likes her teacher. And so do we. So I decided to make the gift. Why not appreciate her even if no one else will show it.

We cut out items from some scrap paper scraps, plugged in the handy glue gun and went to work. I used a pretty basic bead storage box and stuffed it with things I thought would make her life a little bit easier. Scented hand sanitizer, chocolate kisses, basic office/class supplies and

I saw this on another blog... God forgive me as I don't recall where. So sorry!

We appreciate our teacher and try to make sure she knows it.

Needles

My daughter is afraid of needles. ok. Maybe not so much needles as the pain or the unknown.

She has a melt down at the mention of shots or having blood drawn.

I saw a recent episode of The Middle (great show by the way) where Frankie tried to get Brick to cross an old covered bridge. Good Ole' mom Frankie bribes, yells, begs, wines, rationalizes and eventual gives up. This is how I feel about needles and my daughter. I beg, bribe, yell and try to rationalize with her. rationalize with a child who believes in Santa and Disney Princesses. Yeah right.

Will she overcome this fear? Someday. Maybe. After all, I am not a fan of needles either.

You never know

At the beginning of the year my brother came to visit. I told him that he needed to visit our mom as well. They had a strained relationship but I was not telling him or asking him to apologize or ask for forgiveness. I simply suggested that he visit her since he had not seen her in over a year and he was headed back to Antarctica until October. I told him "you never know". He did not stop by. And I know she was disappointed.

On February 13th my mother was admitted to the hospital. She had a massive heart attack, she was septic, her liver and her kidneys were shitting down. My brother was called and he had an opportunity to return home. He was worried however that he would hurt his reputation and not have a good job reference from his current employer. By leaving he would loose his job. He chose to stay in Antarctica and hope for the best.

On February 21st, my mother passed away.

You never know what tomorrow holds. that sentiment has never been more true for me. I am sad for my brother. I was able to tell my mom I love her and I would see her again.

My mother may not have been the perfect mother but none of use were prefect children. She loved us and cared for us as best as she could. It took me many years to realize that. I never had to forgive her. I only had to forgive myself for being so blind.

I hope my brother will be able to deal with the choice he made. I can't say I judge him for his choice. I only write this as a reminder to others that you never know what tomorrow holds.

delightful!

Maybe its the time of year, cabin fever and all.... I dunno. But I tend to get nuts about crafting in February. last year it was hair clips, paci-clips, hand made bibs. This year I had to do something less space consuming. So, I have dove into embroidery.

I knew I did not want to do cute fluffy kittens or anything I would never want in my own house. I was pleased to find Sublime Stitching by Jenny Hart. I have stitched up a few bibs for my cousin, a library bag (each!) for my daughter and my son, a veggie tote for my mom, and our family quilt square for my daughter's school. My next move will be a t shirt for my son and a sweatshirt for my daughter.

Pics to be posted soon!

Etsy

I have a number of friends who sell on Etsy. I am a big fan and I try to shop there often. I recently bought a one of a kind necklace for a tween; the half sister of my God Daughter. My purchase was made at the IV for 4 shop and it was a huge hit. See the picture to the left and you will see why. Very hip, isn't it?

Most of the items are copper, sterling, or fine silver. The quality is great and I will certainly be making more purchases from IV for 4.

Living in a rural area I don't have mush of an opportunity to shop at boutiques that would carry one of kind items. But Etsy provides me with that opportunity on a regular basis. My only frustration (other than having to wait for the mail man) is that I don;t get to handle the item prior to purchase. To date I have not been disappointed by any item purchased via etsy.com.

Christmas presents a la tutu

I ran into Clairs this past weekend with my 4 year old. She saw a tutu that she really liked! And I was tempted to get it for her. But really... its not an item she needs.

I have decided to make her a few for Christmas. As well as her cousin.

I was going to buy a pattern on etsy.com (love that site!!!!!) but I found some detailed instructions for free. I am pretty sure I can handle this project. And if I do well at it, I will also try to make one for each little girl who attends her birthday party in June.

I hope my tiny dancer will be happy!

Fall is upon us

Hunting season is about to begin. That means I will become a hunting widow. Many of the wives I know anxiously await and count down the days until the season begins. They look forward to their husbands being gone all week for work and then all weekend for hunting.

Not me.

Maybe I am too needy. I prefer to have my husband home more than most wives I suppose. Or maybe I still like him.

I am still alive!

Yea, I am still here. Its been a busy summer. I have discovered the art of embroidery and have been spending my time doing a little here and there.

Summer arrived in norhtern NY last weekend. I hope we have a nice Indian Summer. I do love fall but they don't tend to last very long up here. POOF.. and its snowing.

Embroider the day away...

OK, Not really gonna happen in this house. I don't have time for that. But I am going to try and do a little.

When I was growing up my Aunt Eleanor used to embroider all sorts of clothing and dolls for my siblings and I. I'll admit that while in private I liked the stuff, in public I was embarrassed. No one else worse such things! None of it was ugly. Quite the reverse. But they were not en vogue.

As I spend my time at home with my kids I have found my self trying to be productive. I hate cleaning. So crafting is my chosen alternative.

I recently purchased some embroidery designs from urban threads. these are not your mothers designs. These are very funk. Some are cute but not in the furry kitten way. But cute enough to think my kids will wear what ever I labor over.

I do not have a fancy embroidery machine for quick and really professional works of art. I hand embroider all my stuff. And so far I don't mind. As an added bonus I use embroidery to up cycle. be it onsies or burpies or a pair of K's cut off jeans.

Here is the one that I am most excited about. Did I mention that they are only $1.00 each? And there free things too? I want to order more... but I need to do what I have now.

You don't need to be a pro at embroidering. These are easy. You can make them complicated if you have the skills. But rest assured that if you do not... its still going to look wonderful. Pics to follow! Still not interested in thread and needle. Well well well.. the kind folks at Urbanthreads have a "digital stock art section for scrap booking, web design and iron-on projects. OOHH AHHH!

And please read the following: I did not post these pics so you could steal them from me. Because if you stole it from me you are then stealing for urban threads. And that's not nice x 2.

For the love of Moses...its only $1.00 buy your self one or ten. :)

Police Auctions!

If you know me you know that I love a bargain! I shop on eBay. Recenly I won an L.L. Bean snowsuit set (jacket, pants, hat, scarf) for my daughter for $39.99 I bid on items at Bidrodeo and win amazing stuff (I won a Wii for $5.56!).

I discovered another site today to feed my need to get cool stuff at low prices. its propertyroom.com. Its a site set up by an ex-police officer. its helps out police departments to clear our thier property rooms. these are items confiscated by the police. The departments claim to have tried to find the owners and these are items ready for auction. 1/2 of the funds go to the department adn the other 1/2 goes to the site. Here is the link-> HERE

Whats on the site? Lots of cool stuff! Electronics, household goods, art, clothing, pink flamingos (yes!!!) , automobiles, jewelry, toys, and lots of items!

And yes, they do ship OR you can pick it up if you are close enough. There are a few items they have for pick up only (tough to FedEx an H2).